Have you ever noticed that we often think joy has to be something extraordinary?
A holiday abroad.
A wedding.
A concert.
A birthday celebration.
Fireworks lighting up the night sky.
We wait for the big moments, believing that’s where joy lives.
But what if we’ve been looking in the wrong place?
Over the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about joy. Not because life is perfect – far from it. Like many people, I’ve experienced seasons of uncertainty, grief, illness and challenges that I would never have chosen.
Yet something unexpected has happened.
I’ve discovered that joy hasn’t disappeared.
It was waiting quietly.
It was there when I danced in my kitchen for the first time in months.
It was there in sharing lunch and wonderful conversation with a dear friend.
It was there in finding someone who understood why our garden is designed to support birds, bees, insects and wildlife rather than simply being neat and tidy.
None of those moments were dramatic.
None of them solved every problem.
But every one of them reminded me that joy and difficulty can exist side by side.
Our brains naturally have what psychologists call a negativity bias. It’s one of the ways our minds have evolved to help keep us safe, scanning for danger before delight. While that can be incredibly useful, it can also mean we overlook the small, beautiful moments happening around us every day.
That’s one of the reasons I love gratitude practice so much.
Not because it ignores life’s difficulties, but because it gently widens our perspective. It helps us notice that alongside the hard things, there are still moments of beauty, kindness, laughter and connection.
And perhaps joy works in much the same way.
The more we notice it…
The more we create it…
The more we allow ourselves to experience it…
…the easier it becomes to find.
This month, I’d love to invite you to join me for Joyful July.
Not a month of pretending everything is fine.
Not toxic positivity.
Not ignoring reality.
Instead, a month of giving ourselves permission to notice, create and embrace moments of joy, however small they may seem.
Because here’s what I hope every woman reading this remembers:
You are allowed to feel joy, no matter what is going on in your life.
Maybe today your joy is a beautiful cup of coffee.
The scent of freshly cut grass.
The sound of birds singing.
A hug from someone you love.
Five minutes with a good book.
Or perhaps you’ll dance around your kitchen.
Whatever it is…
Don’t rush past it.
Pause.
Breathe.
Let yourself really feel it.
Your nervous system will thank you.
And so will your heart.
💜 Valerie
Reflection for today
What tiny moment of joy have you experienced today?
Take just a minute to notice it… and allow yourself to enjoy it.
If life has felt overwhelming recently and you’ve forgotten what joy feels like, you’re warmly invited to book a Calm Conversation. Together we’ll create a safe, secure and supported space where you can reconnect with yourself, regulate your nervous system and gently rediscover moments of peace and joy.
Sometime we need a safe place to remember our joy – read this blog next https://kaleidoscopevcn.co.uk/project/safe-spaces/
Read another perspective on the Mindful website